Big Mark’s Bad-Ass Tomato Surprise

Mark is back with a tutorial! Mark requested a leftover tempeh burger for dinner tonight, but I had already had one for lunch, so we’re having separate dinners tonight. This means I get to have Indian food, of which Mark is not that fond, and you get a new tutorial featuring Mark’s cooking! Not depicted is Mark figuring out how to turn on and apply a tempeh burger to the George Foreman grill, but here is his side dish (really more dessert as he’d already wolfed down the burger), “Bad-Ass Tomato Surprise”.

First, assemble the ingredients. Mise en place and all that stuff:

That’s a French press, a can of spotted dick, a lighter, some ginger, one tomato, and an orange tabby.

Remove the sticker from the tomato:

Choose a knife. Mark’s been trained to use the bread knife on tomatoes.

Slice the top off the tomato:

Slice the tomato in half:

Salt the tomato. Mark says the quantity of salt to use is “an ungodly amount”, because “salt is freakin’ sweet”.

Add a bit of freshly ground pepper:

Enjoy your tomato surprise!

If you are nice, share with your cat:

Put away the French press, spotted dick, lighter, and ginger. They’re taking up the cat’s lounging area.


  1. Mark Said,

    May 27, 2008 @ 8:55 pm


  2. Vegan Dad Said,

    May 27, 2008 @ 9:25 pm

    I assume that the tempeh burgers were a success if Mark requested a leftover one for dinner. Yes?

  3. renae Said,

    May 27, 2008 @ 9:42 pm

    Oh yes, like everything I’ve made from your site! And he does rarely request leftovers so it’s definitely the sign of a good meal.

  4. Nikki Said,

    May 28, 2008 @ 1:04 am

    Mark, YOU ARE A BAD ASS TOMATO SURPRISE! You know I enjoy your lessons, just as much as Renae’s!

  5. Mom Said,

    June 6, 2008 @ 4:21 pm

    Here is something I would eat, but w/o “an ungodly amount” of salt. Also, this dish takes about the length of preparation time I like to spend in the kitchen on a meal.

  6. Maka Said,

    July 3, 2009 @ 6:44 pm

    LOL, you guys are a hoot! Renae, do you have a bagel recipe? RE:Nigari. I called 5 different health food stores in my area. None of them carry it. I’ll be ordering some online. Have you tried making tofu with chocolate soy milk? I can’t find the new Nasoyas Silken Creations anywhere! BTW, what on earth is spotted dick? Sounds nasty!!

  7. renae Said,

    July 3, 2009 @ 7:40 pm

    Maka, here is a bagel recipe. I’m not surprised you can’t find nigari; I’ve never seen it anywhere. And no, I’ve never tried making tofu from chocolate milk – that’s an interesting idea. Spotted dick is some sort of (non-vegan) strange British pudding dessert. That you can apparently buy in cans. Mmmm.

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